Tag Archives: Getting a job

something that is mine

30 Aug

I’m currently in a stupid situation where the job I really, really, REALLY want is dangling right in front of my nose but I haven’t heard back yet even though it’s the end of the month now and the decision was supposed to be made around this time. I am just going to assume it means I didn’t get it. However, it would have been nice to be put out of my misery by now so I can move on because right now there is still this slight little possibility nagging in the back of my mind that I could get it. Ugh, make it stop. This is not the actual topic for today’s post though, here it comes.

I’ve been thinking about moving my blog from wordpress.com to  wordpress.org for most of 2013. While I enjoy the hosted version very much I don’t use it as such. I already have more subscriptions to other blogs than I can read on a regular basis, I long-since stopped checking out the Featured Blogger site and barely scroll through the tags pages to find new blogs. Don’t get me wrong, I have met a great bunch of bloggers that way but I haven’t felt the need to find new ones which is probably a reason why I don’t get a lot of hits. Another thing is that even though I almost have 200 followers, only a minimal number of them visit or comment on here. Lots of bloggers I connected with have stopped blogging or are on indefinite hiatus which of course makes me sad but is something I can relate to. In the beginning I only followed people whose blogs were on wordpress.com because it was easier, keeping in touch with them, the whole comment system and everything. Over time, I started following all different kinds of blogs, some on Blogger, some self-hosted which has made me feel like a caged animal wanting to break out.

This blog is my little part of the internet that is me and for unbeknownst reasons I’d like to make it even more of mine, I want to lose the .wordpress.com part of my URL for one thing. Also, I don’t like my URL too much because it’s looong. All my other handles on social media sites are much shorter and I like the idea of having them all match so I want this one to be in the WillieSun-club as well.

The problem is that I have no idea where this blog is going, I make it up as I go along (as if you couldn’t tell that already). It feels though as if I got everything out if this site that I possibly could. I want to expand my knowledge, have more influence on the design of my blog and such. I want more possibilities!

Until now I haven’t made a definite decision but it’s probably coming. When I have a steady income, I’ll move onto wordpress.org. And see, this brings me back to the beginning of this post, isn’t it nice how it all fits together? If I had a steady income now, I’d probably think about this step less and actually do it but it feels irresponsible at the moment. I just want something that is mine…


Internships & Work

11 Mar

The end of May is getting closer by the day and do you know what this means? I will have to become a decent, working member of society. No more hiding behind the veil of academia; this little blogger will have to get a real job. And it terrifies me!

It’s not as if I never worked in my life. I’ve did part-time jobs since I was 15. For my degree I had to do 26 weeks of internships in various departments and most of them sucked. Some of them were interesting, like the more hands-on work I got to do early in my degree, actually working in a factory. I learned a lot during those 6 weeks but I was also glad when it was over no matter how much I enjoyed welding. It’s just so cool, you put on the mask, concentrate on your work and it’s like the world tunes out. I don’t hear the noise around me anymore and only after I finish I realise how much time has elapsed. I love that feeling and you know, melting metal together. After that I did a 5-week stint in a steel mill. Fascinating but boring when you are not allowed to do anything but look for five weeks while still having to be at work at 6 am every morning.


Making steel is crazily amazing!


And hot and scary!

After that came the office internships and some of them were good or at least parts of them were. Especially the last 7 week stint in accounting department was awful though. I barely learned anything and was mostly unemployed during the time because the department “only” knew for a couple of months that and when I was coming so they had nothing to do for me or teach me much. Ugh! I hated it, and not only because accounting is boring in my opinion.

The other day I realised why I hated those internships or better when. I don’t like idle time! BOOM! This is the little secret to why I hate working, not knowing what to do next and let’s be honest. When you’re an intern, you are dependent on other people telling you what to do, giving you tasks because you’re only there for a limited period of time. I may have been bored drilling hole after hole in the little metal pieces but at least I was doing something. I dreaded the moment when I got to the bottom of the bucket though and I had to tell my supervisor that I finished yet another task and he had to think of something new for me.

Same goes for me thesis. I dislike the days I know by the time my alarm clock rings that I don’t know what to work on because I’m finished with whatever I was doing last. I like being challenged (this is a revelation to me), having to think about actual, solvable problems; turning them over in my head until I find a solution. I love juggling variables, trying to make sense of whatever the equations tell me. This is precisely why I have struggled with the final courses of my degree so much because after the first 2 years, there started to be much more business classes and they were not full of wonderful math but memorising 300+ power point slides full of nonsense I doubt are actually useful after graduation (not that I can remember any of it anyways).

Don't mind this is in German, it just serves as an example for what I'm bad at doing: Memorising tables of boring 'facts'.

Don’t mind this is in German, it just serves as an example for what I’m bad at doing: Memorising tables of boring ‘facts’ for 320 slides.

As much as I enjoy watching all the TV shows and procrastinating procrastination, it’s also not enough for me. I like having my mind occupied with other things beside my emotional well-being and how much I love a certain actress or whatnot. I don’t like idle time when I know I need to be working.

This is what actually scares me about getting a job. That I will not know what I have to do next, that the little things I learned at uni aren’t enough for a real job because I forgot so much. Just the other day I had to look up how to do a partial derivation on Wikipedia because I wasn’t sure how to do it anymore. I have a couple of small ideas where I want to work that I don’t tell anyone about when they ask me what I want to do after finishing university because I don’t want anyone raining on my parade. I need to keep them to myself until I know it works for me or not. So I actually appear more clueless around friends and family than I truly am. Ha! Never thought that would happen.

I am ready to move on from studying when just 6 months ago I wasn’t. I’m also fairly certain I won’t be doing a PhD. It would be nice, I could stay at uni a bit longer and doing research interests me highly but the thought of dealing with students and supervising their work just doesn’t do it for me. No matter how much I want to prove to myself that I am as good as my uncle with his PhD in Physics. I want and need some change, as terrifying as that is, I need to move on to something else. Something with numbers and variables because it’s the ultimate language I am always able to understand (until it’s rotary current or fluid dynamics :D)

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