Tag Archives: Blogging

something that is mine

30 Aug

I’m currently in a stupid situation where the job I really, really, REALLY want is dangling right in front of my nose but I haven’t heard back yet even though it’s the end of the month now and the decision was supposed to be made around this time. I am just going to assume it means I didn’t get it. However, it would have been nice to be put out of my misery by now so I can move on because right now there is still this slight little possibility nagging in the back of my mind that I could get it. Ugh, make it stop. This is not the actual topic for today’s post though, here it comes.

I’ve been thinking about moving my blog from wordpress.com to  wordpress.org for most of 2013. While I enjoy the hosted version very much I don’t use it as such. I already have more subscriptions to other blogs than I can read on a regular basis, I long-since stopped checking out the Featured Blogger site and barely scroll through the tags pages to find new blogs. Don’t get me wrong, I have met a great bunch of bloggers that way but I haven’t felt the need to find new ones which is probably a reason why I don’t get a lot of hits. Another thing is that even though I almost have 200 followers, only a minimal number of them visit or comment on here. Lots of bloggers I connected with have stopped blogging or are on indefinite hiatus which of course makes me sad but is something I can relate to. In the beginning I only followed people whose blogs were on wordpress.com because it was easier, keeping in touch with them, the whole comment system and everything. Over time, I started following all different kinds of blogs, some on Blogger, some self-hosted which has made me feel like a caged animal wanting to break out.

This blog is my little part of the internet that is me and for unbeknownst reasons I’d like to make it even more of mine, I want to lose the .wordpress.com part of my URL for one thing. Also, I don’t like my URL too much because it’s looong. All my other handles on social media sites are much shorter and I like the idea of having them all match so I want this one to be in the WillieSun-club as well.

The problem is that I have no idea where this blog is going, I make it up as I go along (as if you couldn’t tell that already). It feels though as if I got everything out if this site that I possibly could. I want to expand my knowledge, have more influence on the design of my blog and such. I want more possibilities!

Until now I haven’t made a definite decision but it’s probably coming. When I have a steady income, I’ll move onto wordpress.org. And see, this brings me back to the beginning of this post, isn’t it nice how it all fits together? If I had a steady income now, I’d probably think about this step less and actually do it but it feels irresponsible at the moment. I just want something that is mine…

LHBHS… turns 2!! YAY!

9 Aug

Two years ago on this exact date, Lazy Happy Bored Happy Sad… was created. Little did I know about the impact it would have on me. This little corner of the interwebs I call home is my heart and soul. It is very personal and dear to my heart. It is my save haven when life is tough or needs sorting out. I come here to ramble about my day or share what I read and watched lately. It is me, this blog is who I am in a nutshell.

Of course this blog would be nothing without the people reading and commenting on it. Two years ago, I didn’t anticipate the struggles I would have to go through and how this blog, my readers, friends and the community I found online would help me get through my most troubling time. I’m grateful for every comment my posts receive, without you, I would just be a mad woman with a blog rambling about herself. Oh wait, that’s still true! What I’m trying to say is, thank you! Thank you random readers, thank you followers and thank you friends for being here and for being awesome. And now I’m turning myself into a gooey puddle of mush, but that’s okay I guess. Fitting for the occasion.

You can also watch me get all sappy over the internet in a recent VEDA vlog. Enjoy.

Incidentally, I was voted Featured Blogger over on 20sb which is something I would have never seen happening ever! And it would have never happened if it were’t for the fact that I basically ran unopposed and only got 2 votes out of 2 people because nobody cared for August Featured Blogger. Nevertheless I am grateful for this. Now my face with a link to my blog is up on the main site which is fantastic. I also got to fill out a questionnaire for the 20sb blog so check that out!

And now, cheesecake for all!!

Deserving

10 Jul

Again I apologise for my long absence. I’ve been busy with acting, finishing school, traveling and avoiding adulthood. I’ll try to get back into posting more regularly though. I swear.

_____

My university did not have a lot of partnerships with english speaking universities and my one and only choice was to go to Sweden but the placements there were few with many applicants. However I was one of the chosen ones and got to go to my dream university. From there on out my love affair with Sweden began.

Why am I telling you this? Because I just got back from my holiday in Sweden and it was marvellous; I wish I didn’t have to leave. I got to spend time again with my Swedish Friend Family. That’s a program my host university in Sweden was offering, you write a little bit about yourself and the nice lady in the office tries to match you with a willing family to experience some life outside of campus and university. I don’t remember what I wrote but as my biggest hobby is doing theatre I definitely put that down in my text. And what do you know? I got matched with this brilliant family that is into music and theatre themselves. I had a splendid time when I hung out with them and now it’s three years later and we are still in contact.

Sometimes I wonder though, how did I get so lucky? I mean, I always wonder that when something extraordinarily good happens in my life like the things I mentioned above. Where did I go right, why do I deserve this? Or do I actually deserve this? I am not special, fairly mediocre to be honest and I live too much online but somehow I have these people in my life that I can only be grateful for. My life has not always been peanut-butter and fluff but it wasn’t bad at all either. Through some random happenings though I was blessed with lovely friends and great people. I have no idea how that works and why things work in my favour like this. Don’t get me wrong, it makes me eternally happy but how?

HOW?

Tell me what I did right in my 25 years so far so I can continue doing it. I don’t really believe in karma; do good things so they will come back to you. I’m trying to be a decent human being but that surely cannot be enough, can it? I make my fair share of stupid mistakes and wrong choices but here I am, having great things happening to me. This whole thought-process is probably very weird but it was on my mind so here ya go. If any of my dear readers has any wisdom on the subject to offer, I’d appreciate it.

____

(And now that I put this out here I will probably have a horrible time finding a decent job but okay)

Hiatus

7 Jun

Do you ever stop blogging for a certain reason and then it takes you forever to pick the habit back up? You say: One more day, which turns into a week and whatnot. Yeah that’s me *waves* I’ll have to ease back into this, I guess.

I survived the epic horror that was writing my thesis for the last couple of weeks and I handed it in last Friday, yay!! I am just so happy that it’s over, I cannot tell you. Now, I have free time again to watch TV and blog and read and do all the stuff I like to do. Yeah, I know, looking for a job should be a priority right now, but I don’t know what I want, except that I want a little bit more time to procrastinate. It’s silly and stupid and of course my Uncle couldn’t refrain himself from asking me what’s next when he and his family visited last weekend.

His inquiring made me mad. Irrationally so but still mad. He had a job after he got his PhD and that is all fine and good but I am not him. I take time to make phone calls because I dislike talking to strangers on the phone. And I happen to not have a clue what kind of job my university education should gain me. I don’t feel at home in the business part of a company but I feel like I don’t know enough about engineering either. And there is nothing I desperately want to be.

However my slackerdom also makes me question my motives. Is there maybe a part in me that I inherited from my do-no-good father? I am afraid of just that because I really don’t need any of his traits in me. And it really only has been one week since I handed in my thesis. That’s not too bad, I guess. I had to catch up on lots of sleep and I am doing some traveling as well now that I am done. Next week, yeah next week sounds like a good one to start thinking about my future.

Tonight I meet with my Mom’s bestfriend from the age they were 5 or 6 and she’s also my godmother. We haven’t seen each other in over a year and not talked much either, especially since Mom died. I’m already anticipating ALL THE QUESTION. And I don’t have answers. Not having answers makes me feel like an idiot. So here I am stuck between idiocy and procrastination. I promise the next posts will be better. This is just me trying to overcome my hiatus.

On Internet Friendships

14 May

I don’t think I’ve done a post on this subject before but I believe it’s something that comes up for every blogger/person that lives as obnoxiously online like I do; or so I believe. I don’t like making the division between IRL friends and online friends. This is partly due to the fact that I don’t advertise my online life as such. My close friends know that I blog and tweet and whatnot but they don’t care too much for it. And for all the other people I know, explaining what blogging is and that I do it and why is just way too annoying so I just refer to people I meet on the internet as my friends.

Secondly, though I also believe that it doesn’t matter if you only communicate with this person over the internet because he/she is hundreds or thousands of miles away. They can still be good friends and sometimes even better than those ‘real’ people in your life. Just a recent example, Sunday was Mother’s Day. I don’t much care for this day, never have and never will because I’m just not a fan of doing anything just because everyone else is doing it. So my Gran got flowers today and not on Sunday. Even though it’s a stupid day in my opinion, it was the first Mother’s Day without my Mom. None of my friends said anything about that but as I was going to bed I got the sweetest tweet from Nicole sending me a gigantic virtual hug to counterbalance all the Mother’s Day craziness on social media. (Twitter and Facebook really went crazy that day.) This consideration blew me away, partly because I always suspect people I find to be really cool think of me as the annoying fifth wheel.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, after I delivered my flowers to Grandma she told me about her ‘friends’ grandkid who’s 16 that did/wanted to (idk I didn’t pay close attention) meet a man she met on the internet. And then she asked me who I was meeting in Edinburgh next month even though I told her it was another exchange student I met in Sweden. I know this is a lie but my Gran has absolutely no idea how the internet works and believes that everywhere we sign up online it’s for murderers and rapists to find us. I have no intention of ever explaining blogging/Twitter/tumblr and Facebook to her because I don’t think she would understand why we do these things and that not every person you meet online is a bad guy.

I trust my judgement enough to know that Anju is not going to hack me into pieces in Edinburgh and I also don’t know why this is such a big deal when she is okay with me traveling to Sweden on my own in July. I know she is doing so out of love and because she cares for me, but what does she think is going to happen? I’m flying there (done this many, many times even on my own), we’re going to stay in a hostel for 2 nights (more people to prevent axe-murdering) and visit the city, talk, take photos and have fun. I really cannot think of what terrible thing will happen to me because I chose to meet a person I know for almost 2 years now in comparison to going alone. I could just very well be making this weekend trip on my own, but honestly, then she would go crazy for a different reason.

Maybe I am a little bit naive but I believe there to be a certain ‘codex’ between bloggers. I mean, this is not some shady ICQ chatroom. When you’re a personal blogger like me, who mainly follows personal bloggers, you get to know the people you interact with most. Of course it is only a fraction of who they are as to what they reveal on the internet but still. People in real life can be murderers too, you know?! Just last week a woman my age was murdered by her boyfriend in my town. I didn’t know her but bestfriendboy did and he said I knew her cousin so there’s that. It’s a big deal because not many people get murdered here, we don’t even have out own homicide unit, they have to come in from the next bigger city.  What I’m trying to say is, it doesn’t matter where you know the friends you know from, there’s always the possibility of them having a secret you don’t know. If I meet someone in class at the university I have no way of knowing that he is NOT the next bloody face killer who secretly skins people in his basement. I have to trust my judgement and I have to do the same with the people I meet online.

I hope this made at least some sense, I’m trying to get back into blogger-groove which may take a while. Until then, have fun with my incoherent babbling.

Accidental Defrostation #20sbprompt

3 Apr

I’ve said it before and it will never not be true – I’m only a bad impersonation of an adult; I suck at adulthood and most of the time I don’t mind. I still feel like the little girl I once was with pigtails, clutching my stuffed animal. Maybe one day I will outgrow this but not now and not anytime soon. I like hanging onto my childish ways. Even if it results in stupidity like this little mishap I’m about to share with you.

I have a fridge that’s integrated into the kitchen, it looks like one of the cupboards, very normal. And then I’ve got another fridge-freezer combination that Mom once bought because apparently we needed a second fridge. Now that I’m alone I don’t need all that space especially since I usually eat lunch at the university so I turned the second fridge off as it was empty. The freezer on top of it doesn’t have a separate switch so I wasn’t completely sure but still thought as long as the thing is connected to the socket everything is peachy.

And it was. Until I checked on it yesterday. Turns out, the freezer only works if the fridge is running and everything I had stored in the freezer had melted and was sitting in a puddle of disgusting water.

Way to go, me!

A normal, responsible person would have tested this thing when the freezer would have been empty but not me, nooooo! I did it after grocery shopping. I added stuff to it like ice cream that is now gone too. Sometimes, I should not be allowed outside of my bed. Seriously!

So, I spent yesterday evening cleaning the fridge (which was overdue) and then the freezer after I cleared it of the disgusting water. Ugh. I really mourn that ice cream though. 2.5l of it. The one time I buy a big container. And the pizza! Poor pizza! I love pizza.

At least I defrosted the freezer which was necessary and may earn me 1/100,00th of an adult-point but not much more.

I hope this counts as enough of an error and confession for this weeks blogging prompt. What are your failings? Killed a plant? Threw your stuffed mole against the wall out of anger (or is that something only past!Me ever did)?

Blog Stuff

3 Mar

I’ve been making minor changes around Lazy Happy Bored Happy Sad over the last week or so. Took some stuff out of the sidebar, added a footer. Nothing major really. Just trying to improve my little corner of the interwebs I so dearly call home. I also changed my handle from Wilhelmina Upton to WillieSun because I have it on Twitter and Tumblr and thought Gravatar should match. Not sure if I’ll keep it this way.

Even though my blog’s anniversary is in August, I really started doing this in February 2012, so for a little bit over one year now. Creating a blog has been one of the best decisions I made in a long while. There are people I met through this medium I never would have gotten to know and my life would be emptier without them, their stories, support and friendship. Yes, friendship. I may not have met any of them (btw, I hope you know who you are ;-)) in person – yet – but that doesn’t matter much. Through reading this blog, they probably have a much better idea of who I am than many people I meet IRL.

tumblr_m94xgukKcW1qbjp61

Today I had this crazy idea of making a vlog. No, don’t worry/get your hopes up, I haven’t actually gone through with it. I just tested my webcam and SLR to get a sense of what it’s like and if I could do it and so on. I still need to do some homework on this topic but I really want to vlog. “Am I crazy?”, you might ask. I say: “Probably yes!” But so many have done it before so why not try my hand at it. I am a little bit creeped out by putting my face on Youtube but I’ll probably get over it. What do you think? Do you have advice for this vlogging novice?

What else? Um, not much I guess. It’s already Sunday evening here which means I’ll have to get up tomorrow morning and get back to uni and my thesis. Yay NOT! Whatever, my due date is May 31st, then I’ll be a free woman, well, after I made my presentation that is, but whatever. I can’t wait for it to be the end of May because of obvious reasons and theatre! I love my part in this years play which is a little bit like Once Upon a Time. It’s called: A Zeitgeist in Fairyland and I’m playing a good fairy. I’m actually only in two out of 10-ish scenes but still. This part is awesome and because our director wrote it himself, there is a lot of room for crazy things! So. Much. Fun!

I think this is enough randomness for one post. I really just wanted to get the vlogging idea out here and see what comes back. Probably not much but I’ll still do it, once I figure out how and what to say.

%d bloggers like this: