I fell into a rabbit hole…

22 Aug

I fell into a rabbit hole and it is called Youtube. The side effect of VEDA and spending most of your free time on Youtube watching videos of fellow VEDAers means that your also stumble upon other videos. If not for VEDA I would not have known about Grace Helbig and her Daily Grace show. While I learned about the Vlogbroters on Tumblr I have only now gotten really into their videos. And Youtube, kind soul that it is, keeps recommending video after video once you clicked on any of those and there are many.

To be honest, I didn’t even realise there were famous Youtubers out there. For me, the site was always just music videos and snippets of TV shows, interviews and fan videos on a multitude of subjects. Now it’s like wearing new glasses for the first time, everything is so clear and new, it’s amazing.

Unknowingly, had someone told me about famous Youtubers before, I would have thought they were like Reality Stars on TV, unreal and trashy and not my thing at all but that’s not the case. I am actually amazed by these people. Obviously Hank and John Green are no idiots. Between them, they have various degrees and a Printz Award. Their videos are entertaining, informative and also very silly on occasion. They’re not too full of themselves to put a Happy Meal into the mixer and eat it in front of the camera.

And then there are also people like Grace Helbig, Hannah and Mamrie Hart and many many others. They’re far from dumb. Their comedy may not be everyone’s thing but it’s not dumb despite its oftentimes silliness they manage to convey messages to their followers. You can tell that there’s actual work going into creating the content I get to enjoy which is what amazes me. No trashy Reality TV that makes me want to pull my hair out but clever comedy and an understanding about the business that is still so new nobody seems to know entirely what to make of it.

I read somewhere on Tumblr that if Tina Fey were about the age she was when she wasfirst trying to break through in the comedy business that she would be on Youtube, doing her own thing, being her own boss instead of trying to work her way up as a writer for SNL and I have to agree with this. Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and others would do the exact same thing that Grace Helbig, Hannah and Mamrie Hart are doing if they were about 20 years younger.

Youtube is an amazing platform that I am still exploring. It is so much more than shitty videos of live band performances recorded with the poor cell phone camera you were holding up. There are educational videos solely created to be on Youtube, like CrashCourse or SciShow. There are comedy shows like Your Drunk Kitchen and You Deserve a Drink or amazing things like The Lizzie Bennet Diaries and so many more.

I never expected vlogging to be so interesting but it’s similar to blogging and grasping that concept took a while for me as well. Part of me wishes she could do a similar think like Brotherhood 2.0 with someone on the other side of the globe or so; mainly communicating through vlogs. Sure it would be lots of work but it’s also kind of amazing. On the other hand it’s not really a new idea and thus not cool. I guess I’ll just sit here, continue with the rest of VEDA and be amazed by what Youtube has to offer.

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Oppositionalism

21 Aug

The whole vlog every day in August thing has made me think about a lot of things I normally don’t spent too much time thinking about. For example, today’s topic about insecurities left me fairly unsatisfied as I didn’t know how to express what I feel because I don’t even know how I feel. I acknowledge that I have a lot of insecurities but I can’t label them let alone rank them.

And somehow my brain jumped from that to the fact that I cannot stand when people tell me what to do. I never did. I don’t enjoy unasked advice because I think I need to be able to make my own decisions, let them be mistakes but they are my mistakes and I need to make them in order to learn. If you tell me to watch Angel for example because he is less broody and annoying on his own show than he was on Buffy, I will probably cross my arms in front of my chest and do exactly the opposite of never even checking out the show. Especially if I said I don’t care for the character and you keep telling me that he’s totes better on his own show. Nope, sorry but I will not do that. In fact, it makes me want to do the exact opposite of what you suggested.

I can’t exactly explain where this is coming from nor have I any interest in changing this thing about myself. I was a good kid growing up and I understand how biased this is, coming from me. Nevertheless I tried to not cause any trouble to Mom and Grandma and I did a good job at such. Therefore these two authority figures in my life didn’t have to tell me much of what to do or tried to make me into someone I wasn’t. My grandma is probably the only person that I actually take orders from because she has earned the right to put me in my place from time to time.

If you want me to do something I may not be fully on board with, try to make it sound like it’s my own idea. I just have this need to do things myself, in my own way, however shitty that may turn out to be. I hardly ever ask for advice because I should be able to figure things out for myself. This is probably narrowing my ability to grow as a person or whatnot but that’s fine with me. I’m plenty of a person to begin with. I don’t even like asking for directions and only do so begrudgingly, like after walking up and down the hardware store three times without finding what I was looking for. Then, and only then I may consider asking for help.

The classmates of my long passed grandfather wrote about his character in the school paper that he was against it on principal. I guess that’s where I’m coming from as well.

“Aus Prinzip dagegen.”

And with this I’m ending tonights reflective insight to who I am. Maybe I will actually manage to create a more interesting and substantial post in the near future. Don’t get your hopes up though ;)

Bookish Q&A

15 Aug

I saw this meme on two of my friends blogs, Charleen and Kirsti while I thought of my poor and neglected Book section so I decided this needed to be on my blog as well. Enjoy and feel free to copy this meme if you like as I’m not going to tag anyone in this.

Rules

  1. Post these rules
  2. Post a photo of your favorite book cover
  3. Answer the questions below
  4. Tag a few people to answer them too
  5. Go to their blog/twitter and tell them you’ve tagged them
  6. Make sure you tell the person who tagged you that you’ve taken part!

Favourite book cover?

This one is easy:

Isn't the cover beautiful?

What are you reading right now?

I’m a bit stuck with ‘The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes’ by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and I’m also reading ‘Whitethorn Woods’ by Maeve Binchy which I enjoy a lot but have not finished yet because I fell into my usual summer reading hiatus. Not sure why this keeps happening but apparently it’s a thing for me.

Do you have any idea what you’ll read when you’re done with that?

I have the first book of the Game of Thrones series on lend from a friend. Maybe I will give that one a shot or finish my attempt to make it through the entire Sherlock Holmes canon.

What five books have you always wanted to read but haven’t gotten round to?

  1. ‘My Life’ by Bill Clinton
  2. ‘Living History’ by Hillary Rodham Clinton
  3. ‘War and Peace’ by Leo Tolstoy
  4. ‘Gone With the Wind’ by Margaret Mitchell
  5. ‘The Catcher in the Rye’ by J.D. Salinger

What magazines do you have in your bathroom/lounge right now?

None, I feel pressure with magazines because there is a lot to read and depending on the number of issues per month I feel like I’m cheating on my books. So no magazines for me. There’s a book about mathematical anecdotes in my bathroom though.

What’s the worst book you’ve ever read?

Easy, this one. Also, Twilight was not great either.

What book seemed really popular but you didn’t like it?

Damn, I mentioned Twilight too early, didn’t I?

What’s the one book you always recommend to just about anyone?

See above for best cover, Lauren Groff – The Monsters of Templeton. Amazing prose and storyline.

What are your three favourite poems?

The Panther by Rainer Maria Rilke. I mostly love it for its sound and it loses a lot through the translation into English. Sonnet XLIII by Edna St. Vincent Millay. The last three lines always get me. They always do. And the third one is Song by Allen Ginsberg.

Where do you usually get your books?

I like to actually purchase books. Unfortunately due to my location I end up ordering a lot of them from Amazon because German bookstores only have a very limited choice of English books and I prefer to read books in their original language as far as I am able to.

When you were little, did you have any particular reading habits?

Umm, not that I’m aware of. I remember reading mostly mystery and adventure books instead of girlie books though.

What’s the last thing you stayed up half the night reading because it was too good to put down?

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. Very captivating and pulling at your heart strings.

Have you ever “faked” reading a book?

I don’t know what that means ;)

Have you ever bought a book just because you liked the cover?

Not exactly, I definitely decided to give a book a closer loo because of its cover and then decided to buy it because it sounded good so yes-ish?!

What was your favourite book when you were a child?

The Miss Marple series by Agatha Christie.

What book changed your life?

Tough one. I don’t know if there is a book that changed my life per se.

What is your favourite passage from a book?

I answered this in a recent VEDA video:

Who are your top five favourite authors?

Jane Austen, JK Rowling, Kerry Reichs, Lauren Groff and John Green.

What book has no one heard about but should read?

Delicate Edible Birds by Lauren Groff. It’s a collection of short stories and even though I am usually not very into them but this collection was something else. Go check it out!

What book are you an “evangelist” for?

I don’t know! I haven’t read a book that I liked but had to defend myself for liking it if this is what you’re asking.

What are your favourite books by a first time author?

I am not very up to date with the new trends so my first time authors are not first timers anymore.

What is your favourite classic book?

Pride and Prejudice and Jane Eyre I would have to say.

Five other notable mentions?

Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy
Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte
Every Jane Austen novel ever
The Bertie Wooster series by P.G. Wodehouse
Leaving Unknown – Kerry Reichs

LHBHS… turns 2!! YAY!

9 Aug

Two years ago on this exact date, Lazy Happy Bored Happy Sad… was created. Little did I know about the impact it would have on me. This little corner of the interwebs I call home is my heart and soul. It is very personal and dear to my heart. It is my save haven when life is tough or needs sorting out. I come here to ramble about my day or share what I read and watched lately. It is me, this blog is who I am in a nutshell.

Of course this blog would be nothing without the people reading and commenting on it. Two years ago, I didn’t anticipate the struggles I would have to go through and how this blog, my readers, friends and the community I found online would help me get through my most troubling time. I’m grateful for every comment my posts receive, without you, I would just be a mad woman with a blog rambling about herself. Oh wait, that’s still true! What I’m trying to say is, thank you! Thank you random readers, thank you followers and thank you friends for being here and for being awesome. And now I’m turning myself into a gooey puddle of mush, but that’s okay I guess. Fitting for the occasion.

You can also watch me get all sappy over the internet in a recent VEDA vlog. Enjoy.

Incidentally, I was voted Featured Blogger over on 20sb which is something I would have never seen happening ever! And it would have never happened if it were’t for the fact that I basically ran unopposed and only got 2 votes out of 2 people because nobody cared for August Featured Blogger. Nevertheless I am grateful for this. Now my face with a link to my blog is up on the main site which is fantastic. I also got to fill out a questionnaire for the 20sb blog so check that out!

And now, cheesecake for all!!

Not me, but apparently me after all.

6 Aug

Last year at this point in time I could have never fathomed that this would be me some day. I was so overwhelmed with Mom’s care-taking and my academic life that missing her seemed impossible. 12 months later I am sitting here in the middle of the night, missing her like crazy, and this is by far not the first night (or day) this has happened.

When I got the grade for my thesis she was the first and only person I really wanted to tell but I couldn’t for obvious reasons. Not like I told her about my A-levels or all the other times throughout my school life. Instead I spent the entire car ride crying of relief and sorrow over the fact that I was finally done with it but also that I was definitely done with it. Does this even make sense?

I was so happy to not have to worry about the outcome of my studies anymore while being extremely worried about not having a plan that went further then one day at a time. Things have started to become more interesting in the job department which is great. However there are so many things I would like to ask my Mom that I simply cannot and I never expected me to be this person that I read about on many different occasions,.

I’ve lived on my own before in a strange country and solitude is not a problem for me but…

I don’t understand why this is suddenly so hard for me. It has taken me such a long time to actually mourn my loss, it’s ridiculous. There were just so many overlaying feelings that had to subside first. And I keep wondering if this feeling of loss and missing her will ever dull and be a thing I hardly think about anymore. Will it get better when the job thing finally comes through and I am not entirely in between everything anymore? I’ve never been one to cry much but in these last couple of months I have been so not me on this front. Aside from missing her, I miss having my shit together and not started sobbing at random things. Will I ever get to be the person again that I was before the cancer and the death? Mirror, mirror on the wall…

Maybe having my family in town is increasing these feelings of loss. I look at my uncle and see so many of Mom’s features in his face that make it hard to look at him for me. Not even the good features but the face after she lost all the weight and was already sick. Today my aunt asked me what I wanted for my graduation present and I could only answer nothing because she is not supposed to be the one giving me anything. I know Mom would have been all over me with a gift and I would have given her a hard time about it but I would still have expected something. I don’t want Aunt and Uncle to pick up the slack for Mom not being here anymore. I don’t need a present, I already rewarded myself it’s no big deal. Nevertheless I want to know what she had gotten me. I want to know, damn it!

Mirror, mirror on the wall, will I ever stop with all the feelsy stuff?

English Teachers

31 Jul

I’ve been watching Pretty Little Liars and Friday Night Lights lately. Both shows focus on kids in high school. While they may not have anything other than that in common, they fit together for this post. The reason I bring this up is because on PLL Aria has a crush/pedolationship with her English teacher. I don’t see the appeal of Ezra Fitz at all but that may be due to some fundamental issues. On Friday Night Lights I just saw Julie crushing on her new young English teacher as well and it struck me, what is so special about English teachers?

The only thing those two teachers had in common was their profession and the fact that they are pretty young and fictional characters from TV. At first I wanted to dismiss this, it must be a pop culture thing, I don’t know. I never had a crush on any teacher, mostly because they were usually old and boring but then I remembered the beautiful and young English teacher that accompanied my class on our senior sailing trip. She was not my English teacher but friends of mine took her class and she was most definitely swoon-worthy. She even had her own stalker (maybe that’s a bit strong of a word choice for the situation) from our year. And I was also self-closteted.

This brings me back to my original question, what is it with young English teachers that apparently makes them so much more interesting than other teachers? Is this a thing or was it just a coincidence that I also had a crush (I may not have called it that at the time for various reasons but that’s what it was) on one of that species?

Is it their love for words and works of fiction? Is it because they seem to be more artsy than, say, a math teacher?

I have no explanation for this. It could all be a coincidence that these two characters and my real life  just happened to arrange themselves like this. My school didn’t have a lot of young teachers at the time. We had a young PE teacher for a year and I think some of my classmates took quite an interest in him while I just pretended to. Other than that though I can’t even think of any other young teachers. As for TV land, this is hardly a representative cross examination, it’s just two shows  out of hundreds, maybe there are more examples for or against this trend. Have you came across something like this?

Mina goes Grown-Up

30 Jul

Yep, you read that right, this little blogger is in the business of growing up, just a little bit though. I’m not ready for the whole nine yards yet. However, I managed to graduate from the university with my very own diploma in Industrial Engineering!! I think this calls for a little dance party, what would you say?

lemon dance 4

lemon dance 3

See, that was fun. Now onto the not so fun parts of graduating, having to actually work for a living, look for a job and all those other pesky things. I’ve taken my sweet time to get there when you keep in mind that I handed in my thesis at the end of May. Whoops. Sorry, not sorry. I took some time off traveling and avoiding responsibilities but now it’s time to actually do something useful with my time. (Not that marathoning all the TV shows of ever is not a useful thing in my book, but, you know, something that pays the bills.)

Yesterday I sent out a couple of applications and just in time I might add to get my uncle off my back because they’re coming over on the upcoming weekend. This had me spending my sunday night analysing why I’m dreading their arrival. Many points were already made in a post earlier this year. He won’t be able to complain though since I actually applied for some jobs. I even bought my very first pant suit which incidentally makes me want to throw up because, ugh, adulthood. I may also have created my very first online dating profile and I still don’t know how that makes me feel.

I fully plan on blogging about my holiday sometime soon but I’ve been too lazy to do so until now and with VEDA starting on Thursday, I guess it won’t happen too soon?! Will see, can’t promise anything. Have a Blurred Lines gender-swap video while you wait, m’kay?

How has life been treating you guys? What’s new? Talk to me!

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