On Internet Friendships

I don’t think I’ve done a post on this subject before but I believe it’s something that comes up for every blogger/person that lives as obnoxiously online like I do; or so I believe. I don’t like making the division between IRL friends and online friends. This is partly due to the fact that I don’t advertise my online life as such. My close friends know that I blog and tweet and whatnot but they don’t care too much for it. And for all the other people I know, explaining what blogging is and that I do it and why is just way too annoying so I just refer to people I meet on the internet as my friends.

Secondly, though I also believe that it doesn’t matter if you only communicate with this person over the internet because he/she is hundreds or thousands of miles away. They can still be good friends and sometimes even better than those ‘real’ people in your life. Just a recent example, Sunday was Mother’s Day. I don’t much care for this day, never have and never will because I’m just not a fan of doing anything just because everyone else is doing it. So my Gran got flowers today and not on Sunday. Even though it’s a stupid day in my opinion, it was the first Mother’s Day without my Mom. None of my friends said anything about that but as I was going to bed I got the sweetest tweet from Nicole sending me a gigantic virtual hug to counterbalance all the Mother’s Day craziness on social media. (Twitter and Facebook really went crazy that day.) This consideration blew me away, partly because I always suspect people I find to be really cool think of me as the annoying fifth wheel.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, after I delivered my flowers to Grandma she told me about her ‘friends’ grandkid who’s 16 that did/wanted to (idk I didn’t pay close attention) meet a man she met on the internet. And then she asked me who I was meeting in Edinburgh next month even though I told her it was another exchange student I met in Sweden. I know this is a lie but my Gran has absolutely no idea how the internet works and believes that everywhere we sign up online it’s for murderers and rapists to find us. I have no intention of ever explaining blogging/Twitter/tumblr and Facebook to her because I don’t think she would understand why we do these things and that not every person you meet online is a bad guy.

I trust my judgement enough to know that Anju is not going to hack me into pieces in Edinburgh and I also don’t know why this is such a big deal when she is okay with me traveling to Sweden on my own in July. I know she is doing so out of love and because she cares for me, but what does she think is going to happen? I’m flying there (done this many, many times even on my own), we’re going to stay in a hostel for 2 nights (more people to prevent axe-murdering) and visit the city, talk, take photos and have fun. I really cannot think of what terrible thing will happen to me because I chose to meet a person I know for almost 2 years now in comparison to going alone. I could just very well be making this weekend trip on my own, but honestly, then she would go crazy for a different reason.

Maybe I am a little bit naive but I believe there to be a certain ‘codex’ between bloggers. I mean, this is not some shady ICQ chatroom. When you’re a personal blogger like me, who mainly follows personal bloggers, you get to know the people you interact with most. Of course it is only a fraction of who they are as to what they reveal on the internet but still. People in real life can be murderers too, you know?! Just last week a woman my age was murdered by her boyfriend in my town. I didn’t know her but bestfriendboy did and he said I knew her cousin so there’s that. It’s a big deal because not many people get murdered here, we don’t even have out own homicide unit, they have to come in from the next bigger city.  What I’m trying to say is, it doesn’t matter where you know the friends you know from, there’s always the possibility of them having a secret you don’t know. If I meet someone in class at the university I have no way of knowing that he is NOT the next bloody face killer who secretly skins people in his basement. I have to trust my judgement and I have to do the same with the people I meet online.

I hope this made at least some sense, I’m trying to get back into blogger-groove which may take a while. Until then, have fun with my incoherent babbling.

The Problem with Living in Germany

I seem to not be conform with the German standard in more ways than one. For example, I haven’t watched real TV in at least half a year except for the snippets I get when I visit my grandma. Not that I don’t watch TV shows like there’s no tomorrow but I can’t do this the right way. German TV translates every show into German which delays their broadcasting to at least half a year or never. The West Wing for example was never broadcast on free TV over here and the show has been off the air for 7 years.

And I don’t want the translated version, I want the original voices and jokes and references. I don’t understand how we can live in the 21st century and not have found a way to allow broadcasting a show in two languages at once. Why is this not possible? I don’t think I’m being unreasonable here. Maybe I could even deal with the time delay and I don’t care for add breaks but it just bothers me that the translation is thrown upon me. Not that they are all bad but it’s just not the same. Watching FRIENDS in German is a real challenge because the voices of Ross and Phoebe make me want to throw stuff at my TV.

The next big issue I have is finding english books in bookstores. Granted, I live in a city with about 120,000 inhabitants, not that big but I can be lucky to at least have an international section in most bookstores. Most of the books I read are written in English so why should I not read them in their original language? Not unreasonable right? But here’s the problem, the books I want to buy are not available there.

Every time I pass a bookstore I have to go in and take a look around because I really can’t help myself in that regard. The last couple of months I have taken it upon me to look for John Green’s books. I’ve been to 3 stores semi-regularly and I’ve never found one of his books, in German or English, until today. In bookstore number 3 I found two copies of ‘The Fault In Our Stars’ in English. Huzzah!!

Still, this makes me sad because it has taken me many months to find this and the last time I was in the same store they didn’t have it. But hey, why would you even want a John Green book when you can have the Fifty Shades trilogy in both English and German wherever you look? There are enough of those books on display to last you as toilet paper for an entire year which is the most useful thing to do with them, really.

Not all of Germany is this terrible though, when you get to bigger cities the international sections expand. Last December when I was in Frankfurt I found a whole store with international and mostly English books. It was like walking into heaven. But the thing is, I cannot travel to Frankfurt any time I want to buy an English book. Sure I could order them at any local bookstore but then I’d have to go their first to order and another time to pick them up. Sorry, no, too much trouble. So I order most books and DVDs from Amazon. Hate me all you want for their destruction of the publishing world and whatnot. At least they have every book I want and I can also pick the format. (Yes, I am that person who checks the measurements of the books to see what size they are because some english publications come in very weird formats.)

There’s Amazon Germany and they ship my books free of charge no matter the size of the order. And if they don’t have the DVDs I want, or they are way too expensive I can go to Amazon UK and order my complete box-set of The West Wing or Doctor Who series 1-4 there and it’s almost as fast as ordering in Germany but usually much cheaper even with the added delivery charge.

I just seem to live in the wrong language for my own good. Why must I be this demanding? I have a couple of books and DVDs I tend to look for in the respective stores that allow me to rank them in my own little universe. Thanks for reading my ramblings as I am now done with my anger. Phew, it feels good getting things off my chest like this.

Still here

Yep, I’m still here but I’ve lacked the blogging spirit lately. I blame the pesky thesis, because after spending hours on that each day, I just don’t have anything to say on here. Sometimes I get an idea of what to blog while I’m at uni and I draft it on my notepad but when I finally get to go home the moment’s kind of passed and I don’t feel like saying anything anymore.

Don’t worry, I still plan on writing those posts because they are not bad but need more brain activity than I’m currently willing to devote to them.

Today’s a holiday where I live and I thank the heavens for it because I could use the extra hours of sleep. I keep having weird dreams again, some of them I could really do without but we’ve already been over this. I’m so happy when it’s the 31st of May already and I am done with all of it.

The problem is that my mind is already planning my after thesis time, like, I already have my Facebook update drafted in my mind that I’ll be putting up as soon as I hand in my work. And then there are my various vacations I am so looking forward to that get more real with every hostel reservation and train ticket I book. Summer, here I come…or…you know…in 3 weeks.

There’s also a self-imposed curfew I’ve got until the end of May; no going out after midnight because otherwise it takes me like 2 days to recover and I don’t have that kind of time right now. Wow, this turned into a whiny post way too fast, sorry. Just wanted to say I’m still here and haven’t forgotten about this blog, just that I’m out of words at the moment. Take this snipped of a song instead. Unfortunately the whole song was never released but I still like the little piece we got from it.

How are you? What have you been up to?

Becoming rather British – Downton Abbey

After making my way through Doctor Who I decided to give another British series a try, Downton Abbey. I watched one episode last year after it became popular in the US as well but I didn’t have the patience then. Also, my ear wasn’t used to the British accent as it is now after seven seasons of Doctor Who and multiple viewings of Sherlock.

Now that the understanding problem was out of the way, I really enjoyed the show. The cast is brilliant, I especially love a lot of the employees but also the family is pretty incredible. I could go on and name all the pretty faces and great characters but I really love them all, even Thomas and O’Brien. They tend to plan intrigues like I change my socks but during season 3 I really started to enjoy them. Thomas is not all bad and you get a glimpse into how difficult it is for him to be gay in the beginnings of the 20th century while it was technically illegal to out yourself. Everyone at Downton knows about his sexual orientation but it wasn’t a real  problem as long as nobody asked and he didn’t have to tell. But he is lonely and I can hardly imagine how difficult it must have been to find companionship in those days.

The estate is just gorgeous. If I had the money, I’d love to live there.

As the UK is not the biggest country, the more shows you watch, the more people you see reappearing in different roles. One of those is Penelope Wilton who played Harriet Jones, Prime Minister on Doctor Who. Even after three seasons I still expect her to introduce herself as: “Harriet Jones, Prime Minister” like she did on DW all the time. For those who know DW will (probably) understand me.

 

 

 

 

Then there is the amazing Maggie Smith, forever ingrained as Professor McGonagall in my mind. She plays the Dowager Countess of Grantham (I had to look it up cause I usually get her title wrong) and is the sassiest of them all. God, she is fantastic in this role, I wish I could hang out with her and snark the hell out of the high society. Oh the fun we’d have together.

I wasn’t on board with all the plots, some made me cringe because I hate seeing things go off course but in general the writing is very pleasing. Some story lines made me cry, of course, this is a British drama after all, it can’t go down without tears and character death. Some hit me harder than others and I am looking forward to how this show will continue in the future.

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Writing is hard work

The title basically says it all; writing is hard work. It truly is which is also one of the bigger reasons why I will never become a decent writer despite how much I wish I would. Wishing doesn’t get you anywhere though, only effort and hard labour will do the trick and we all know that I am as lazy as a person can be.

Why am I telling you all this? I’m currently in full-blown thesis writing mode and it really shows me the shortcomings of my writing abilities. While academic writing does not equal creative writing my problems are the same. First and foremost is my limited vocabulary. I sound like a fourth-grader who ingested a thesaurus. I love to write the words just as they flow in my mind and that’s fine for this blog but doesn’t work for anything that’s going to be held to a higher standard. I know loanwords and am happy to use them as I hope it shows I’m not a complete moron while most of the words I put on paper sound so blah.

Another thing that’s really difficult for me is staring at a blank page, trying to come up with sentences. Nothing is worse than staring down a blank page while your mind decided it’s the perfect moment to go blank. I despise getting to the first draft stage, after that it gets much easier for me. Never mind that I spend most of today re-writing entire paragraphs because they weren’t any good. It’s still so much easier to just edit something after you put the general idea into words; reshaping and forming the sentences into something worthwhile.

Then there is the language problem that shouldn’t be a problem for me at all. I’m writing my thesis in German which should be fine, no big deal. But it is. I find myself multiple times a day having the perfect english phrasing on my mind and failing to find a proper translation that conveys exactly the same. This is completely messed up since German is my native language, it shouldn’t be an issue but it is. I guess that day about 5 years ago when I couldn’t for the life of me remember the German word for umbrella was a sign that it’s only going downhill from there.

I’m now about 24 pages into my thesis. It’s ok, it could be worse and the last three days were quite productive. What else this thesis-writing experiment is showing me is that I just have to sit it out. Keep in front of that damn PC and write. I take many breaks to go on Twitter, Tumblr, any newspaper site I care about or walk up three flights of stairs to the farthest ladies room to get my mind unstuck. Moving around helps me clear my head as does focussing on something mind-numbing for a little while. In the end I have to get back to the writing though to get that pesky first draft out there. It’s like breaking the ice when you meet someone new, the beginning is really difficult and afterwards it gets more comfortable and easy. Writing about a specific topic is like getting to know a stranger. The more you think about it, the more involved you two become until things fall into place because you suddenly realise what it’s all about.

I’m dreading the empty chapters that are yet awaiting me but I also feel like I’m finally going somewhere, moving forward, not solely in time but also in regards to where my life is supposed to head. A little over a month and I’ll be done with studying for good, I’ll be able to travel, spend my summer on and around my favourite theater stage and look for a job. I haven’t felt useless the last couple of days, it felt more like accomplishing something even if it’s as stupid as finally getting the bottom line of your thesis question. I also know where I want to work, or at least I think I do, which is a huge deal for me as I didn’t know this at the beginning of this year.

All in all, I feel good right now which makes me happy since I spend a lot of time complaining about my thesis. It’s just the way I handle things. I don’t know how but the complaining is a part of my work routine, always has been and probably always will be.

Fog and Queens – Abu Dhabi

This post is brought to you by me having travel feels. Is it June yet? No?? Ok, so I’ll have to tell you about an old trip then. Remember last week when I went on a cruise to Oman because my Mom was a huge fan of cruises? Well today’s destination stems from the same cruise, Abu Dhabi.

Abu Dhabi is the capital of the United Arabic Emirates and the second largest city in the UAE. The biggest city would be Dubai and maybe I’ll get around to telling why I didn’t like Dubai. Abu Dhabi on the other hand, I did like. It’s a bit more old fashioned, not as nouveaux-riche as Dubai and thus a little bit more to my liking. Not everything needs to be loud and expensive, sometimes modesty is key and knowing where you came from. And as far as the UAE go, Abu Dhabi is more modest than Dubai.

We started the day with visiting the great, big Sheikh Zayed Mosque but it was so foggy that I didn’t see it.

You seeing that huge-ass mosque behind my Mom? Me neither.

From there we went to some place I don’t even remember. It had all sorts of crap, and cars and whatnot of the current/former/idk Sheikh on display. Not much to see.

And you shall bow to me as I am your Queen (or something like that)

Afterwards we went to the National Heritage Village though, which was very nice and educational. I enjoy seeing other cultures on display and here we were able to see how beduins live and much, much more. Also, it is green and is covered by nature which I tend to miss in big cities especially if they are as smog filled as the Emirates.

I like the differences on display here; the old boat in the foreground and the new skyscrapers in the back.

Crappy lighting is crappy but I still like the photo.

Obligatory camel and beduin.

I’m pretty sure the A/C was not a default feature in the old days.

Don’t you have enough by now?

The simple answer is – NO! One can never have too many books.

Ever since I was a little girl, I loved going through my grandmas books. I studied the authors and titles, looking for special one’s like War and Peace (which I never found even though she told me she had it), memorising their locations and storing the information away for a later day. I knew back then that having a library in a home would be my biggest accomplishment. I guess this is partly why I love buying books so much. I want my own damn library, OKAY?!!

Yesterday I came across this post on Tumblr and I started to think about which room I could turn into a full-blown library. I didn’t reach a conclusive decision yet but I still have time and need to get more books first. Regardless I wanted to show you what I’ve got so far.

Only Kirsti beat me to it and now I look like a copy-cat. You have my word though that this is a coincidence and she was just faster than me, mkay? Here we go then.

This is the representational side, the nice mostly hardcover books. You’ve got the collected works of Shakespeare, some Russian literature (yes, War and Peace, I got my own copy, thanks for nothing Grandma) on the top left and the paperbacks on the right are crime novels; Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Agatha Christie mostly. Also, most of these books are in German.

Moving on to the other side of the same bookshelf, are the books I treasure most. Some classics and most of my English paperbacks. Yes, that truly is the Twishit-saga, I haven’t gotten rid of it yet, though it’s moving out next time I need more space for real books. I also got a Quran and a Bible, if I’d had read them I could actually become the next Pi Patel but as I haven’t, I’m safe. The Bible was a gift from my uncle and the Quran I got free in a Mosque in Bahrain so why not have it, looked nice and you never know when it might come in handy.

These books are neither sorted by name or author. It’s a very special system, based on publishing house, size, my love for it and the ability to best fit in these compartments. It may not be a logical system, there are at least 4 different compartments housing Jane Austen novels, but it’s my system and I love it.

 Exploiting the little space there was between the wall and chimney, I put these two mini-shelves up to shelter some of the series I read.

The one on the left is mostly occupied with the Eve Dallas Series. I’ve been reading them for close to 10 years now I think and they are my guilty pleasure books although the latest I’ve read tend to lack a little of the stuff that once made me read them in a hurry. Maybe it’s just me growing out of them or the bad translations, I’m not sure. Now that Mom is not there demanding to be able to read them as well I can switch to the Originals though.

Aaaaaand, Thursday Next, of course.

On the right is a series of a local author whose books may not be the most demanding literature but it’s nice to read a novel which is set in your small city.

Below that is the Temperance Brennan series located. I hate that they all have different sizes and designs but I guess I can’t change that.

Concluding this post is my book outlet located in the stairwell. Yes, the shelf is actually that crooked. It was the first IKEA thing I ever put together when I 14 or 15 so please forgive me. I didn’t have a father to teach me how to do such things properly, I had to learn the hard way. Nevertheless these are books I inherited from various people. To my shame, I barely read them but they look nice and I adore old books even though I can hardly read some of them as they are written in Fraktur which takes some practice to get used to.

I hope this wasn’t too boring for y’all. Maybe I can come up with something more substantial next time.